It’s always darkest before the dawn...
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A little late for Mental Health Awareness week, but I thought I’d post anyways. We (well, mostly @hennataylorfilms and @_matthewhood) created Speak to me Softly in order to to bring attention to the more shadow sides of climbing: the darker emotions and identity battles that many of us monkeys experience. In a broader sense, it’s my hope that the film, along with more and more honest media these days, helps to destigmatize the presence of struggle in everyday life as well. I’ve loved hearing from so many that have been impacted by our labor of love—so many who once thought (as cliché as it sounds) that they were alone. Here’s just a friendly reminder that life isn’t meant to be easy, to lean into the darkness, and to know that light is on its way. ☀️ @outdoorresearch
My relationship with climbing has been all over the place these past few years. I’ve struggled to pull my identity from its grips, straining to find more well-rounded ways to define myself. I’ve grown tired of pushing past fear, often resigning myself to the top rope while my friends stay ambitious, learn to fall, and send their projects. I ran more than I climbed this summer, and when I put on a harness it was usually to rappel in the mountains. I even quit the OR team, no longer feeling worthy of the support on one hand, and on the other hand wanting to take away all external pressures to climb.
But this morning, I have tender fingers and sore calf muscles and a full heart from trying hard and spending the day with some of my favorite people, and that can only mean one thing...it’s Trout season! And regardless of how much (or little) I may define myself as a “climber,” regardless of how hard—or not hard—I’m climbing, on a perfect fall day in central Oregon, I still can’t think of anywhere else I’d rather be. ✨
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📷: @christopher_c_marshall
Woke up this morning with my arm around Lune on one side and Alden on the other, and my heart feeling so full. I’ve spent a lot of time in my adult life chasing after adventure and “freedom,” and running from anything that might tie me down. I’ve avoided attachment, both consciously and subconsciously. But, as it turns out, love really is the best thing in the world. There’s no ignoring it with these two in my life. ❤️
